The last couple of days have felt like a dream. Over the weekend my parents were away so I volunteered to look after my younger brother, Leon, for them. We spent the days just relaxing, eating good food, watching bad television and of course swimming to escape the heat! On saturday night we decided to go to the Cinema to watch the film The Perks of Being a Wall Flower, it was such an incredible film and left our hearts in a weird combination of contentment and wanting more from life. We later drove to get ice-cream by the ocean, which was so lovely, especially the breeze on our faces to relieve us from the hot summer night. The next couple of days I've spent with my friend Ruby, who I had picked up from the airport with Vincent on friday morning. She said its strange that when she is in Melbourne, she misses the things she took for granted while she lived here, especially the beach. So I have been accompanying her on picnics, swimming and lots of sun by the ocean. Because i am very english my skin doesn't cope well with the sun, and i am very sore and burnt as a result. Hopefully the heat cools down a little to make the days less draining, but i will embrace them even if they don't.

My dearest Friend is coming home from Melbourne for a couple of weeks and i couldn't be more excited. Vincent and I are driving an hour and a half to pick her up from the airport, a little road trip i suppose, which makes me my heart fly because i love going on adventures, even if they are short. I have also finally started my 'Wreck This Journal', Its already helped me explore different styles of art, and thinking in a different frame of mind i would otherwise ignore is both refreshing and terrifying. I need to continue to open up my mind and heart to all of the possibilities life has to offer me, especially when i feel scared at first, thats when I know I should push myself most. For now however, i will let my mind drift off to sleep.

Today is my first day off in ages! So I have been doing a bunch of things I've been meaning to do for a while, I've finally started my photo wall, but it isn't finished, i still need to obtain a few more frames. Apart from my frame wall i have been doing art, watching bad television and eating. If only it wasn't so hot this day would be perfect! 

I have been feeling really down at myself for feeling inadequate lately. I decided it would be nice to make a list of things that are compliments/things I'm good at that aren't actually true, but it will lift my spirits nonetheless. 

- Im going to move to Europe 

- I passed all my college assessment 

- Im a good artist 

- Im someone people enjoy being around 

- I will find an artsy boyfriend who has the same morals as me

- I go to University 

- I will be happy again

Also, I really miss New Zealand 

Last night I felt an urge to run away. Nothing particularly was wrong, which scared me the most. I had 

finished one of my exams and I was on my way home, but before I knew it, I had passed the street that 

I live on and I was heading in a direction that id never been before.  I don’t often feel this way, when 

my stomach knots, my hands shake, and my heads a mess, but when I do, it stays for a while, like an 

unwanted house guest who doesn’t understand they’ve overstayed their welcome. The people in my 

life aren’t particularly appealing to me and I feel more and more comfortable spending my time alone, 

sipping on cold tea and painting over candlelight. It’s a sad life to some, but I sort of like it. I like to be 

the mystery girl that no one really knows, and is too afraid to ask, but everything comes at a cost. 

Someday Soon

 I haven't posted here in a while. I also haven't picked up a camera either. Instead i have been putting most of my creative energy into painting and drawing. Im not very good but it makes me feel a little more alive and able to manage my constant repetition of my life at the moment. The word repetition leaves a sour taste in my mouth. So here is a collection of photographs i look on my webcam (which explains the bad quality), it is mugshots of my face, i have been so inspired to just take mugshots of everyone in my life and post them in black and white. Hopefully i find the motivation to carry through with this idea.

Melbourne photo diary

 The days before i left for Melbourne were long and hot, the humidity always brings me down and i feel so lost and anxious. But inside, my heart was bursting with excitement knowing i will be leaving Queensland for Melbourne. As soon as i stood off the plane it felt like home, the cold air filled my lungs with a feeling of relief and comfort. I stayed with a darling friend, Ruby, who recently moved back to Melbourne, working as a nanny to two cheeky boys, Miller and Will. The boys filled our days with mischief and youth, but while they were gone we filled the rest of our time filled with food, photographs and soaking up what little sun was shinning. So many memories have been created and thats what I cherish the most when travelling.